The Whole World Revolves Around Jak
by MinxBubbleOo
Summary: What would you do if suddenly every guy in the city wants you but not even one woman will let you win her heart?


Hello um this is my first Jak Fan fict so please enjoy its a little random but hey when you got nothing else to do in class this is pretty amusing

and for those that care i own nothing and everyother big company owns everything

* * *

"Morning Dax." called Jak as he emerged from his room in the palace. 

"Mmmm…" came a sleepy reply.

"Stayed up to late drinking with the girls last night at the Naughty Ostle? said Jak as he walked towards the bathroom.

(Silence)

"Dax."

(Silence)

"DAX." Daxter walked into the bathroom looking like he'd seen a ghost.

"Dax what's wrong?"

"Um… nothing I just remembered for the first time what happened last night."

Daxter couldn't meet Jak's eye. Jak in the middle of his morning shave turned and looked Daxter straight in the eyes.

"What exactly did happen last night?"

"Well me and the girls…" Dax begun.

"What girls?" Jak interrupted.

"Um… let's see. Tess of course and Ashlin, Keria and a new girl called… um Raven I think." Dax was ticking them off on his hands.

"Ohh…Go on." Jak said turning his attention back to the mirror.

"Ahh… where was I… Oh yeah we were parting like only an ostle could when Torn stormed in looking like the Grim Reaper." As Daxter talked he slurred his words and was finding it hard to stand up straight.

"Real party pooper, but Ashlin offered hi a drink "Naughty Ostle Special." And he was soon back in a good mood. Every one was there it was the party of the century." Daxter opened his arms wide to show how big it was and fell over. Jak now finished shaving picked up the little ostle and put him on his shoulder.

"Go on tell me who was there." offered Jak.

"Ok uh well the girls, Torn, Sig, Razor and even Erol."

"EROL." Jak yelled surprised "I thought we kicked his ass all the way back to the precursor."

"Well he was there and man, can that boy dance." Dax continued to tell his story as Jak made his way to his hover craft, but as they reached the royal hanger they ran into Ashlin and Keria having an argument.

"You know he likes me better."

"We have more history together."

"He likes my hair better."

"My boobs are bigger!!!" Jak was standing there with his mouth wide open and he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Smack, ouch Dax."

"Ain't you gonna stop them fighting." Dax yelled over the top of the now erratic yelling.

"Um yeah." came a reply. Jak made his way cautiously over to the two women who were now starting to pull each others hair and bite each other.

"Do we have to? Its just getting good." asked Jak with a puppy dog look on his face.

"Yes now move." yelled Dax.

"HEY LADIES." yelled Jak. Ashlin and Keira turned and glowered at Jak.

"WHAT!!" they yelled simultaneously

"Uh…well…um I just came to say that there's no need to fight cuz there's enough Jak to go around." Jak said smugly flexing his muscles. All's of a sudden everything went quiet .Slowly Jak could hear a faint sniggering and it got louder and louder till all's of a sudden Ashlin and Keira fell on the ground laughing hysterically even Daxter fell off Jak's shoulder because he was laughing so hard. After the laughing subsided Jak asked.

"What's so funny?"

"It's hic that hic you thought that we were hic fighting over hic you." The laughter started again.

"Sorry Jak." said Keira.

"Yeah Jak it's just that your not our type." agreed Ashlin.

"Well then who is?" asked Jak felling a little dejected. At that moment Keria and Ashlin turned to face Daxter who was still finding it a little hard to get off the floor

"Sigh, Daxter." they cooed together as they fluttered their eyelashes.

"Yeah." Daxter yelled as he jumped up from the floor.

"Orange Lightning strikes again, everyone wants a piece of me." said Daxter, falling on the ground again.

"DAXTER!!" Jak's mouth was literally hanging down on the ground.

"Well ladies if you want a date with Orange Lightning you'll have to get in line baby." Daxter finger gunned the two women. When along came Tess.

"Ohh my cutie wootie, snugly wugly bear." Tess began.

"I've been looking for you everywhere."

"HEY we were here first." yelled Keria.

"What's this we stuff." snapped Ashlin.

"Daxy waxy wants me don't you?"

"Ladies, ladies please there's enough ORANGE LIGHTNING to go around." said Daxter as he got off the ground and started to back away.

"NO!!!" yelled all of them.

"You have to choose."

"Uh Jak I'll catch you later I have a small problem on my hands… well paws at the moment." yelled Daxter as the tore off down the hallway.

"AHHH!!"

"Daxter wait!"

"No snugly wugly come back!!" the calls got fainter and fainter until Jak was all alone.

"Sigh, ok see you later Dax… how come I can never get a woman and Dax always has too many of them." Jak asked himself as he hopped on his hover craft.

"Hey I'll think I'll try my skills out on the race track."

* * *

After much speeding and a few too many police chases, Jak finally managed to make it to the race track only to find Erol and Razor getting ready to race. 

"Erol, Razor what are you two doing here?" called Jak

"JAK!!!" cried them both as they turned towards him.

"Hey guys." said Jak as he jumped down on to the starting line.

"Are you racing? Can I race too?" Jak pleaded.

"Uhh…" Erol and Razor looked at each other, a silent conversation happening between them, while Jak stood there looking desperate.

"Jak were sorry, you can't join in this race, but maybe another time aye." said Erol in a sweet voice.

"WHY!!" pleaded Jak turning towards Razor

"Becauze des race iz betweenz mez and himz it's to settlez a little dizagreementz we havez going onz." Razor glared at Erol.

"Ok but can I watch?" Jak asked

"Sure." said Erol eyeing up Jak.

"You can sit in this big GOLDEN seat at the finish line."

"YAY… wait why does it say "Trophy" on the front of it?" Jak asked innocently.

"No reazonz youz justz sit downz and relax." Razor whispered as he stroked Jak's muscles.

"Ok." Jak said happily, and the race begun, but Jak had a little problem he didn't know who to cheer for so he cheered for them both. It was a close race Razor was in the lead until Erol pushed Razor's bike into the side wall right before the finish line.

"Yay I won… he's mine now." Erol gloated

"Who's yours?" asked Jak, getting down from his seat. Erol waltzed over and was about to say something when a voice yelled…

"YOU CHEATED, YOU… YOU…" at that moment Razor launched himself onto Erol, and for a few minutes Jak stood and watched as the two fought until he finally said

"I can see you two are having a moment, so I think I'll leave you two in peace." Jak turned to walk away when someone shouted

"Wait you can't go I won. I WON!!!" at that point Jak started to run and run and… run until he came across Onin's tent. He made his way towards the door thinking

"I wonder if Onin misses Pecker now that he lives in the Wastelands with Sig ahhh Sig how I do miss him and all the fun times we had, such a peaceful man was Sig, so calm, so happy (FLASHBACK) _SIG:Shoot dam it, shoot that motherfing Metal head before it cracks our fing heads open…_ ah well." as Jak went to lift the flap open he heard someone shouting, he stopped to listen.

"Why wont you listen." yelled a familiar voice

"Samos." mouthed Jak.

"What's he doing here?" thought Jak as he went back to listening,

"We can have this debate all day woman, but in the end my magic is better

(Silence)

"Don't try those wise words on me woman."

(Silence)

"What are you doing?"

"Stop I say, STOP." Jak opened the flap to peek in and was nearly blinded. Onin had got Samos cornered and was starting to undress him; he started to return the favour by taking off her dress. Jak quickly dropped the curtain but not before he saw Samos push Onin to the ground.

"Aww man even Samos can get a woman and I can't." complained Jak as he walked off to find Torn and see what he was doing.

* * *

When Jak reached the secret H.Q and made his way inside he was surprised to find Sig standing where Torn usually does. 

"Sig what are you doing here? Where's Torn?" asked Jak, speeding up his pace until he was standing right beside his friend.

"Jak how are you?" Jak frowned this was not a normal Sig.

"I mean have you shot any Fing Metal Heads lately?" Jak sighed this was the Sig he knew.

"No can't say I have, Where's Torn?"

"Said he's gone shopping for a special occasion."

"Ohhh… what ya doing here then Sig? Have they thrown you off you throne already?" Jak laughed but noticed that Sig wasn't.

"No." said Sig, a big smile forming on his face. Jak noticed how alone they were and how quiet it was.

"Ahh, Sig why are you smiling?" Jak started to back away. Sig advanced.

"THUNK." Jak had backed in to a wall.

"Shit what's he doing…? I have a feeling that this is going to hurt." Jak thought as he closed his eyes. Nothing happened… Jak opened his eyes and came face to face with Sig.

"Boo." whispered Sig. his hot breath sending tingles down Jak's neck. Jak looked for an escape root but Sig had his arms pressed firmly against the wall blocking any escape Jak could have made. Sig ran his leg up Jak's thigh slowly edging his body closer.

"I missed you." he whispered then went in for the kiss. Jak was able to spin himself around stopping Sig from kissing him, but it was then he realised his mistake

"OH SHIT!!!"

"Well aren't we a little pushy. I thought you wouldn't understand Jak but I guess I was wrong Jak." said Sig as he tried to pull off Jak's shirt and kiss his neck at the same time. Jak struggling to get free struck out with his foot and surprisingly it connected with something, then there was a

"THUNK." and Jak turned to see Sig rolling around on the ground with pain. Not wasting any time Jak headed out the door pulling his shirt on as he went. After even more running Jak came to a stop outside the Naughty Ostle where he saw a cute girl looking at the building. Jak being well…JAK went over to introduce himself not realising who she was Jak walked straight up to her and said

"Hi I'm Jak, are you new around here?" the mysterious girl turned and faced Jak.

"Man she's pretty." thought Jak.

"You're Jak." said a voice snapping Jak out of his daydream.

"Yeah." he replied flexing his muscles.

"Jak as in the one that worked for Krew?" the tone of her voice was getting louder and louder.

"Why do you want to know about that sleazebag?" replied Jak as coolly as he could. All's of a sudden Jak felt a stabbing pain in his left eye, he could feel himself falling to the ground and hitting it hard with a

"THUNK." the last thing Jak heard was…

"That sleazebag was my father."

* * *

When Jak finally came round he found himself in a strange place. 

"Where am I?" he said more or less to himself as he tried to sit up and found he couldn't

"WHAT!"

"Oh look who's awake." said a mysterious voice.

"De little babyz awake."

"Who are you? Where are you? And why am I chained to a table?"

"Just a little precaution Jaky boy, we don't want you to run away like you did last time, do we."

"Erol is that you?" called Jak.

"Very good." came a reply.

"That must mean the other voice is Razor's."

"Corretz Jak."

"Uh." Jak started as he tried to get up again.

"I thought you guys were still fighting over who won the race and who gats the prize."

"Well." said Erol stepping out into the light.

"We decided to put aside our differences and share the prize."

"Yez." Razor stepped into the light as well.

"We alzo decidez toz havez a partyz azwell."

"Cool." said Jak.

"Am I invited to the party? What's the prize?" Jak could hardly contain his excitement.

"Well … were the party." started Erol as he stroked Jak's cheek.

"Andz… Yourze the prize." finished Razor, whispering the last few words in Jak's ear before nibbling at it. It took a little while for all of this to process through Jak's brain, but when it did all's he could say was.

"Ahh not again."

Try as he might, Jak could not stop Erol and Razor from stripping him down to his underwear, this was like torture for Jak knowing what was to come, but being powerless to stop it and it was really cold on the hard metal table. First to come off was Jak's top, Erol ripped it off then slowly licked every one of Jak's abs. Then Razor got the privilege to slip off Jak's pants, he then started to play with Jak's toes but he wasn't using his hands…

"HA HA HA…stop that it tickles… Stop." yelled Jak as he furiously tore at his bonds, but it all came to a head when Erol and Razor started arguing over who gets to remove Jak's underwear.

"I should."

No mez."

"He likes me better."

"It'z notz true hez like mez better."

"I won the race."

"YOUZ CHEATED!!!" at this point Jak could stand it no longer.

"AHHHHH." Jak yelled as he released his inner darkness and broke free. The argument stopped. Erol and Razor turned to see Dark Jak stand ing before them.

"Now Jak please calm down." Jak advanced.

"Yez this waz jost a littlez joke." Jak lifted his fists.

"THUNK." Erol and Razor hit the floor hard and instantly were concussed. After Jak had tied them to the table naked he ran home as fast as he could to find some clothes.

* * *

"Jak my boy, where ya been?" called Dax from the royal Jacuzzi. 

"You do not wanna know Dax." Jak called back while plonking himself down on a pool chair. Dax tearing himself away from all his beautiful women came and sat beside him.

"Jak."

"Yeah Dax."

"I never finished telling you about last night."

"Sigh, really Dax there's more?"

"Yup and I don't think your gonna like it."

"Go on then tell me."

"Ok well I was hiding in my bed from all the women when I found this big wad of cash and it made me remember something that happened last night."

"What." Jak interrupted.

"I'll tell you if you'll let me finish… ok where was I, oh yeah at some point in the night we had an auction."

"What type of auction?"

"A… well a JAK auction." Dax gave Jak one of his winning smiles.

"You sold me… TO WHO!!"

"That's what I can't remember, but I got a lot of money for you."

"That makes me fell sooo much better." at that moment Jak heard a rustle of shopping bags behind him and someone dropped a package on his Jak's lap.

"I hope you look good in leather." A voice whispered in Jak's ear. Jak turned to see Torn skipping away swinging his shopping bags and whistling a merry tune.

"DAXTER!!!!!!" Jak yelled, his face red with anger, but Dax had already taken off down the hallway.

"What I can't understand." Jak thought to himself as he took off after Daxter.

"If I can get four men chasing after me then why can't I get ONE woman to?" Jak sighed and continued running

* * *

hope ypu enjoyed it and and please review 


End file.
